Calgary Police Service

So, I'm hesitant on writing this post. Mostly because I fear the repercussions for commenting on a very big company who could sue or charge me. But I also will be very fair and honest in this blog, will tell the truth as I can remember the incidents, and exercise my right to freedom of speech. And I won't name officer's in here. They are human beings, and like all of us, have their bad days and moments.

In all the reports I am known as a "Chronic Complainer" with the Calgary Police Service. Not someone who struggles with ongoing health issues, but someone who complains a lot, apparently about everything.

When dealing with me there are inappropriate comments sometimes, I over hear things being said like "It's the long weekend and all the nutcases are out."

When discussing which officer gets to take me to the hospital one officer says, "We'll play rock, paper, scissors over it."

When I point blank ask them if society wouldn't be better off without me I get a response of "I'm not sure Amber."

And when I tell an officer that I would never hurt or kill an officer, just bring an imitation of a gun so they would kill me his response is "If you want to kill yourself... go ahead and do it. But don't drag somebody else's life into that mess as well. You would ruin that police officer forever...all for what, your own selfish needs? What did he/she do to deserve that?"

I know that I can be very frustrating at times, but they are trained professionals and should be able to hold their personal comments until after dealing with the situation. Because later in my head, when I am feeling suicidal again, it's all those negative comments I remember to remind me that I'm worthless and don't deserve to live, or be respected, even by the Calgary Police Service.

I've heard recently that Mental Health training is not mandatory within the service. I would hope that one day it will be. I am sure they deal with multiple people on a daily basis with mental health issues.

On my criminal record check all of my mental health issues used to show up on it. All ten pages of, suicide attempts, Mental Health Act. I was forced to show this to a future employer or volunteer agency.

When I was assaulted two years ago and called the police to file a complaint they showed up at my door and wrote it off as me "chronically complaining." They walked away without filing a report.

Even in the jail system they de-humanize you. When you are suicidal they give you a uniform they call "baby dolls" to wear so that you won't hurt yourself with any clothing.

In all fairness I can't look at an officer in District Two anymore. I stalked one of their Sergeant's and I am very ashamed and embarrassed by my behaviour over that. I feel they all hate me and wished me dead in District Two.

They are getting better on how to handle people with mental health issues. They have formed the Police and Crisis Team (PACT), diverting those who have health issues to the appropriate health needs to be met, instead of a jail system that does nobody any good. The Criminal Record check unit has been working with the Canadian Mental Health Association to appropriately handle what shows up on your criminal record check, and they have made changes to that.

And despite those negative comments from police, the majority are pretty good. I commend them for the job they have to do and situations that they deal with on a daily basis. I would never want their job. To be constantly sworn at, spit on, threatened, assaulted. And rarely any credit or respect from the public that they deal with, they do an outstanding job.

And it totally depends on the personality of the officer as well. I am able to work in a very positive, respectful role with my Community Resource Officer. He recognizes the fact that I struggle sometimes and does not judge me for that. And when I am struggling gently guides me back to the appropriate resources in place for me to deal with when I am in crisis. His role is to be a resource to me for positive change in my community. We have developed a great working relationship, and mutual respect for each other.

More changes need to be made though in regards to dealing with mental health issues. From dealing with the general public, to dealing with mental health within their own force. I hope that day will come sooner than later.