Addiction

Today I am feeling grateful and lucky.

I am lucky because when I started to rely on alcohol to relieve me from anxiety and stress, shame and guilt, I was old enough to have seen the destruction that addiction does to families and relationships.

I saw the look of disgust my son gave me when I went to give him a goodnight kiss after starting to drink. "You stink Mom." Was his words as he turned away from me repulsively. From that moment on, I vowed not to drink in front of him again.

I watched a family member almost die on multiple occasions because of his addiction. We came to the point as a family to love him because he was family, and at the same time condoning his behaviour. We came to the point where we knew the police officer would knock on our door one day to tell us he's died of an overdose or been murdered. That's a shitty feeling.

I've met a woman who killed an innocent person while she was drinking and driving. She hasn't touched a drink. I don't know if she's ever forgiven herself for that. I know that I couldn't. But she has stopped drinking, she can deal with all those horrible feelings without touching a drink.

I watched my neighbour drink to the point where her children were embarrassed and ashamed of her. She eventually lost her home and her children. Now she's on the streets.

I watch a current neighbour drink to get through the day. I've watched clients as a Medical Office Assistant lose everything they own, their health, and then.... their lives.

I understand that the people who have mental health issues use it as a way to self medicate.

I also know that addiction can be overcome, and changed, and dealt with. I've seen people do it and I applaud them for the courage and strength it takes to do it. It is hard work, and it is not easy. But I would rather do the hard work and have my family and friends, than keep the same negative coping skills only to end up in an early grave.

I was, and am lucky. My addiction was short lived, I know the longer you stay in it, the tougher it is to get out.

So GET OUT, SOONER is better than later. And one day, I will quit smoking. I started that early, at 15, eventually, this addiction will kill me too. YOU can change, YOU can be the person you always wanted to be, YOU can be the hero that you see and want to be in other people.

So ask for help, go do what you need to do to be who YOU want to be!

YOU CAN MAKE THE CHANGE!!!