The Shock of Poverty

It's like an electrical prod, always sticking you. Making you do things you don't want to do.

I might as well be a herd of cattle, and you brand me with that hot iron brander.

As #Canada150 approaches, I have been shocked back into reality. Canada is not a "great nation". I am reminded of all of the faults our country has been, is, and possibly will be in the future.

My first week of school at The Canadian Poverty Institute was Shock Poverty, and boy, was it an emotional roller coaster. And for someone like me, with Borderline Personality Disorder, probably more so.

The highlights of it:

The Role of Language and Story. To better understand poverty, you must understand three aspects of language: registers of language, discourse patterns, and story structure.

I learned that every language in the world has five registers being:

1. Frozen
2. Formal
3. Consultative
4. Casual
5. Intimate

Formal register is not used at home in families who are poor. And it is used in schools, middle-class, social services, and politics. If people do not understand formal register, it is hard for them to communicate with people and situations that do.

Therefore: Acquisition is the best and most natural way to learn a language. This can only occur when there is a significant relationship. 

There are also "hidden rules" among classes of poverty, middle class, and wealth. For instance, humor to someone in poverty is generally around people and sex, where as a someone who lives in wealth they find humor in and about social faux pas.

The biggest thing I learned about all of this, is the language. And I need to learn formal register and others need to learn "street language". 

I knew this, as I had a "street name" when I was a teenage run away, it was Star. Yes, Star.

Like, when you wish upon a star, makes no difference where you are!

Like Star, who was half vampire in "The Lost Boys". 

I am so thankful that I was able to take this course at The Canadian Poverty Institute. If you would like to know more about this course you can find the courses here: https://ambrose.edu/poverty-studies-summer-institute

Derek Cook, the Director at The Canadian Poverty Institute taught the Shock Poverty course. And I am very thankful that he used plain language in this course, as it gave me a better opportunity to understand the material.

The course was unique, as it brought people with lived experience, students, and community workers together, to work collaboratively in a safe and comfortable setting.

Bad Day in Calgary

Normally, I love my city. I believe people care about others and vice versa.

Today was NOT, I repeat NOT one of those days!

I went to Forest Lawn for an event.

On the Number 1 Forest Lawn bus, another passenger was harassing two other passengers on the bus. The driver had said something to the passenger, but I felt the need to protect and stand up for these citizens, and place myself in the middle of the two.

For a while, everything was good. I got together with some friends, and one of them offered me their poncho to get home warm.

And while walking to my 112 bus stop, on the corner of 3rd Street and 6 Avenue. I see this man throw a chair at another man in the street. I yell at them and tell them to knock it off, and remove the chair from in front of a vehicle.

They depart for a brief moment, and this guy with no shirt on, jumps the fellow who threw the chair, and wraps a chord around his neck in the middle of the street.

Who jumps in? Not the 20 men who are standing there watching it.

Me. Skinny, weak, little me.

Jumps into the middle of the street and unwraps the chord from the man's neck while on the phone with Calgary Police Service.

I'm traumatized. I'm concerned. I am now afraid.

Thanks Calgarians. So glad to know you have my back.

Human Rights = PhD

You see....I sat in class, understanding the morning. It was interactive, fun, enthralling to learn in this setting.

And then....

Yes, then I was reminded of why I don't return to school. Because here was this amazingly brilliant person teaching me in a language I did not understand. Terminology that made no sense to me.

You see....

I am what Tito has said in his spoken word poetry, "I have my degree in street knowledge." I am a FEELER, I understand the HUMAN side, the EMOTIONAL side, the LIVED side of it all.

This lady is speaking Chinese in a world where I speak English. Where I speak human language, not legal terms. How do I possibly make sense of all of this?

So I sit on my couch and feel stupider and stupider. I had to walk out of class a few times today. To just go out and breeaaattthhhh, because I was on the verge of tears in the classroom.

I was....

In grade nine all over again. In math class and the math was just NOT adding up. So I flee. I can't breath and I run for my life because to quit is safer than sitting there and not understanding, feeling stupid and worthless.

The teacher...

Sees me, but doesn't. She does not see the terror on my face, the sadness in my eyes. I feel rejected and abandoned by the education system all over again.

So...

I grab the book that was lent to me today, "The Broken Way" by Ann Voskamp, and I continue reading what I started earlier today. And then page 31 hits me in the head like a hammer. "In His last hours, in His abandonment, Jesus doesn't look for comfort or try to shield Himself against the rejection; He breaks the temptation to self-protect - and gives the vulnerability of Himself. In the sharp edge of grief, Jesus doesn't look for something to fill the broken and alone places; He takes and gives thanks."

And now.....

Tomorrow, I need to get up and go to class. I need to break the temptation to self-protect and leave myself vulnerable. I need to try again. I can't drink tonight or cut, to try to fill the broken pieces of me. I need to take what I can from this, and give thanks.

Shock Poverty

My Experience in Shock Poverty

When I started the Shock Poverty course at Ambrose University run by the Canadian Poverty Institute, I expected to learn what was provided in the Syllabus given to us. 

Which was to learn the global and personal lenses of poverty, what leads to each, and how they impact each other. To understand poverty as both a justice and economic issue, and to discover a Christian response to poverty, among many others.

Our class was unique, for the first time ever I learned at the end of class, as it was made up of people in the social work sector field, students, and people with lived experience of poverty.

What I did NOT expect to learn, was how poverty has affected me, in so many more ways, other than just financial burdens on every day life.

I learned that poverty itself, is a stressor. The more I live in poverty, the more it stresses me out and it effects my social, spiritual, economic, and health. All aspects for a good well-being to life.

I learned that I have a different language, than people who live in middle-class society. This makes it more difficult for me to associate with people who live in middle-class, and to feel comfortable making friends and walking up to people in middle-class.

In the textbook Bridges out of Poverty by Ruby K. Payne, PhD, Philip E. DeVol, and Terie Dreussi Smith, Chapter three we learn there are hidden rules among classes of people. These include:

1. Money
2. Personality
3. Social Emphasis
4. Food
5. Clothing
6. Time
7. Education
8. Destiny
9. Language
10. Family Structure
11. World View
12. Love
13. Driving Forces
14. Humor

It also helped me in my community work profoundly on poverty reduction in Calgary. I know now, the steps to take, to build trust, which will in turn build resiliency, which will lead to an abundant community, Derek Cook put the acronym beautifully, which means ART.

I want to thank Derek profusely, for being a fantastic instructor. My biggest fear in beginning this class was that the terminology would be all academic, which would lead to me not understanding the material, feeling stupid, getting frustrated, and walking out. Instead, it was both academically lead while using plain language so that I did not feel those emotions to get frustrated and quit.

I also want to thank Ambrose University for having me on the campus. All of the faculty and staff were open, welcoming, and kind.

As well as the funders, who allowed me the opportunity to take this course. Without the funding for this, I would never have the chance to take part in this. A very heartfelt Thank You.

I am also, proud to say, that I have the fortunate opportunity to carry on next week, on learning about Dignity and Poverty.