Wow, this is going to be a hot topic. I encourage people's comments, opinions, thoughts. But will NOT tolerate hate, bashing, shaming, anger, or prejudice. Those types of comments will be swiftly removed and deleted.
I have not been to church in months now. Mostly because I find hate, intolerance, and prejudice within my congregation members. People who have invited me into their homes as a guest: and have made fun of and disrespected other faiths and religions, but mostly, their culture and traditions.
This frustrates and makes me angry.
It is sad to say that I see more of God's love in my community of different faiths, than I do in a church community.
Yesterday I gathered for an EID celebration with the Muslim community. Saw their love, faith, culture, and humanity gather amongst those who call God: Allah, and those who call their God: God, Jesus, Creator, Spirit, or Buddha. It was absolutely beautiful.
What I am most guilty of, and very ashamed of, is when I see this intolerance and hate, I do not speak up against it. I remain silent to "keep the peace and not create conflict." This is what I believe God wants of us, to make peace.
But by remaining silent I do not create peace, I am insulting and not standing up for what God's truth is, no matter what religion you belong to, to love your neighbours.
So for my Muslim community, I am so sorry. For my Auntie Donna who comes from the Nehiyawak (Cree) Nation, and my great-niece who is from a different culture, to my son, who is part Metis, I am so very sorry. Even to the gay/lesbian and trans gender community I apologize.
God made all of us in his image. Just the way we are. And there should be no hate, intolerance, judgement, or disrespect.
Going forward I will speak up for different faiths, cultures, beliefs, and traditions. And continue to love and support you.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Friday, July 24, 2015
Church in Community Development - Part Two
Today we continue the interview with Heather Webber, a community Pastor who worked with Bethany Chapel and the Lincoln Park Calgary Housing units.
11. Were there preconceived ideas or judgement as to low-income communities before you came in to work with it? If so, what were they and have your ideas changed since working in them?
"When I first started out, I thought about How can we help them? Once I got to know people I realized there were a number of capable and talented people who could help themselves and help me! When I first started working in the neighbourhood I did ask myself - Why are the fences run down and not painted etc.. Once I found out all the rules and regulations with Calgary Housing, I understood why. The desires from many people are there to improve, but the barrier is money and policies due to renting. I realized not to judge, because you don't know the whole story."
12. Did you have any fears coming in to the community? Why and how did those change?
"Some of my fears were…: With such a variety of diversity in the community, what could I do? What could the church offer to its neighbours…..and what would that look like? The church is located right into the heart of the community, and we realized it could play an important part in the community by opening its building up to the community i.e. homework club, soccer, etc…and welcome them."
13. What breaks your heart with communities like ours?
"To see people trapped or stuck in poverty."
14. Have you ever found yourself jealous of us?
"I don’t know if I would use the word jealous but I sometimes envy the relationships you have with your neighbours. I sometimes see stronger relationships being built then what I see in middle-class and more affluent neighbourhoods. In poorer neighbourhoods, people are able to exchange gifts and and talents amongst their neighbours and are more creative. You don't always find that in other communities who are well off because there is not the need. When there is no need they tend to consume more and the exchange of gifts does not happen."
15. Do you think "Smaller is better" in community development? Or are partnerships with larger government necessary?
"Smaller communities is better. You don't develop those relationships in larger communities, and it's about the relationships you build in community that are what makes it work. I couldn't do what we do without the help and support of Bethany Chapel who has supported me all these years and who contributes financially to needs in the community around it. Calgary Housing , City of Calgary Community Neighbourhood Services and West Central Resource Centre have been wonderful to partner with, so you do need larger organizations to partner with, but I think smaller communities are easier to work with."
16. What is the role of the poor in change work?
"When you hear about what is making it hard for the poor to get ahead you want to advocate for them, you want to speak up and talk about the unfair policies etc.” e.g: Rent control, policies that keep the poor stuck."
17. Do you have a motto?
"My days are numbered so I take one day at a time."
18. What is a moment in community work that you will always remember?
"When I first started out, I met a lady who was going to Mount Royal University, her husband had just left her, and she was raising 4 kids and she was really struggling financially. Our church had helped her with purchasing some of her books but I knew she was going through a really tough time. I went home and told my family about this family and my daughter came home from a study group about a week later and handed me a sealed envelope to give to the lady I had talked about. She had collected some money from friends who cared and wanted to help. I put it in my purse and forgot about it for 2 days! When I remembered I drove to her house and rang the doorbell. She opened her door a crack and I realized she'd been crying. I asked her how things were going and she said not well. She said to me, "My electricity has been cut off, not only do I have to tell my children that their father does not care about them, I have to tell them that God doesn't care about them either!" I handed her the envelope and said there are people who do care about her. She opened it and there was just enough to cover her utility bill. She then said, "There is a God!" Later during divorce proceedings I attended court with her. The judge went through her financials and asked her how she could afford piano lessons for her daughter, and how could her boys play basketball etc. For a number of the questions she kept saying, the church down the street was helping. She told the judge that a piano was donated from the church and once a week a congregation member came and instructed her daughter in lessons.” The judge looked up and said, aren’t you fortunate to have a church like this in your community! The church has the power to make a difference in peoples lives….it is not just for its members of faith, but for people of place in the community."
19. What project made the most significant impact in the community and why?
"The Thread Shed which was made possible by Calgary Housing. We developed a partnership with them based on trust, respect, and relationships. Having this in the community allowed us to get to know the neighbours and provide donated clothing from Bethany Chapel."
20. Coming from an Evangelistic Church, to a culturally diverse community, how were you able to set aside your religious beliefs, and respect those of different faiths?
"My faith is a part of who I am and I know it is important to built trust and respect with those who I work with and who have another faith. I know that God loves the world and longs to have a relationship with them and it is important to live out what I believe and to love my neighbor."
22. In my conversations with residents, and others working from outside the community, one of the outstanding comments always made was, "Once I found out a pastor from a church was joining us, I was concerned that it would turn religious." Do you find people become defensive when they learn you're from a church? And how do you break that barrier?
"People who are defensive usually have had a bad religious experience in the past. I don’t come into a situation and push my faith on anyone. I will bring up my faith if people ask and are curious about what I believe in. Once people trust you they become more comfortable in talking about spiritual things, and what you value in life. Our church is wanting to contribute where it can in the community and to be a light in the community….."
23. If you were to offer 1 piece of advice to a church thinking about working in their local community, what would it be?
"I would say go and learn from the people living in your community, build a relationship of trust and respect. Work alongside of them and find out what skills and assets they have and start from there….lend a hand when needed and help when asked…….find out what their dreams and visions are for the community and work together to make it happen. "If God wants to draw them into His church, He will….your task is to love your neighbour."
Heather Webber has done an outstanding job in the programs and services she has developed for our community, in the 14 years she has worked in Lincoln Park. Hundreds of lives have been touched by her love, grace, and compassion. With her new role, thousands more will be touched by teaching other churches how to do, what she has done.
Some of the programs are:
Thread Shed, ESL Conversation classes, Good Food Box, Small Hands - Great Treasures Playschool, Play Café - Toy Lending Library, Time Out for Moms, Let's Talk, Community Gardens, Community Dinners. Special Events include: Spa Night, Christmas Shop, Clean-Up Day in the Community, Homework Club.
Heather credits the relationship and support from Bethany Chapel and partnerships she has formed with Calgary Housing Company, City of Calgary Neighborhood Services, and West Central Resource Centre. "Without the help of many volunteers from Bethany Chapel who love meeting their neighbours she couldn't run the programs."
11. Were there preconceived ideas or judgement as to low-income communities before you came in to work with it? If so, what were they and have your ideas changed since working in them?
"When I first started out, I thought about How can we help them? Once I got to know people I realized there were a number of capable and talented people who could help themselves and help me! When I first started working in the neighbourhood I did ask myself - Why are the fences run down and not painted etc.. Once I found out all the rules and regulations with Calgary Housing, I understood why. The desires from many people are there to improve, but the barrier is money and policies due to renting. I realized not to judge, because you don't know the whole story."
12. Did you have any fears coming in to the community? Why and how did those change?
"Some of my fears were…: With such a variety of diversity in the community, what could I do? What could the church offer to its neighbours…..and what would that look like? The church is located right into the heart of the community, and we realized it could play an important part in the community by opening its building up to the community i.e. homework club, soccer, etc…and welcome them."
13. What breaks your heart with communities like ours?
"To see people trapped or stuck in poverty."
14. Have you ever found yourself jealous of us?
"I don’t know if I would use the word jealous but I sometimes envy the relationships you have with your neighbours. I sometimes see stronger relationships being built then what I see in middle-class and more affluent neighbourhoods. In poorer neighbourhoods, people are able to exchange gifts and and talents amongst their neighbours and are more creative. You don't always find that in other communities who are well off because there is not the need. When there is no need they tend to consume more and the exchange of gifts does not happen."
15. Do you think "Smaller is better" in community development? Or are partnerships with larger government necessary?
"Smaller communities is better. You don't develop those relationships in larger communities, and it's about the relationships you build in community that are what makes it work. I couldn't do what we do without the help and support of Bethany Chapel who has supported me all these years and who contributes financially to needs in the community around it. Calgary Housing , City of Calgary Community Neighbourhood Services and West Central Resource Centre have been wonderful to partner with, so you do need larger organizations to partner with, but I think smaller communities are easier to work with."
16. What is the role of the poor in change work?
"When you hear about what is making it hard for the poor to get ahead you want to advocate for them, you want to speak up and talk about the unfair policies etc.” e.g: Rent control, policies that keep the poor stuck."
17. Do you have a motto?
"My days are numbered so I take one day at a time."
18. What is a moment in community work that you will always remember?
"When I first started out, I met a lady who was going to Mount Royal University, her husband had just left her, and she was raising 4 kids and she was really struggling financially. Our church had helped her with purchasing some of her books but I knew she was going through a really tough time. I went home and told my family about this family and my daughter came home from a study group about a week later and handed me a sealed envelope to give to the lady I had talked about. She had collected some money from friends who cared and wanted to help. I put it in my purse and forgot about it for 2 days! When I remembered I drove to her house and rang the doorbell. She opened her door a crack and I realized she'd been crying. I asked her how things were going and she said not well. She said to me, "My electricity has been cut off, not only do I have to tell my children that their father does not care about them, I have to tell them that God doesn't care about them either!" I handed her the envelope and said there are people who do care about her. She opened it and there was just enough to cover her utility bill. She then said, "There is a God!" Later during divorce proceedings I attended court with her. The judge went through her financials and asked her how she could afford piano lessons for her daughter, and how could her boys play basketball etc. For a number of the questions she kept saying, the church down the street was helping. She told the judge that a piano was donated from the church and once a week a congregation member came and instructed her daughter in lessons.” The judge looked up and said, aren’t you fortunate to have a church like this in your community! The church has the power to make a difference in peoples lives….it is not just for its members of faith, but for people of place in the community."
19. What project made the most significant impact in the community and why?
"The Thread Shed which was made possible by Calgary Housing. We developed a partnership with them based on trust, respect, and relationships. Having this in the community allowed us to get to know the neighbours and provide donated clothing from Bethany Chapel."
20. Coming from an Evangelistic Church, to a culturally diverse community, how were you able to set aside your religious beliefs, and respect those of different faiths?
"My faith is a part of who I am and I know it is important to built trust and respect with those who I work with and who have another faith. I know that God loves the world and longs to have a relationship with them and it is important to live out what I believe and to love my neighbor."
22. In my conversations with residents, and others working from outside the community, one of the outstanding comments always made was, "Once I found out a pastor from a church was joining us, I was concerned that it would turn religious." Do you find people become defensive when they learn you're from a church? And how do you break that barrier?
"People who are defensive usually have had a bad religious experience in the past. I don’t come into a situation and push my faith on anyone. I will bring up my faith if people ask and are curious about what I believe in. Once people trust you they become more comfortable in talking about spiritual things, and what you value in life. Our church is wanting to contribute where it can in the community and to be a light in the community….."
23. If you were to offer 1 piece of advice to a church thinking about working in their local community, what would it be?
"I would say go and learn from the people living in your community, build a relationship of trust and respect. Work alongside of them and find out what skills and assets they have and start from there….lend a hand when needed and help when asked…….find out what their dreams and visions are for the community and work together to make it happen. "If God wants to draw them into His church, He will….your task is to love your neighbour."
Heather Webber has done an outstanding job in the programs and services she has developed for our community, in the 14 years she has worked in Lincoln Park. Hundreds of lives have been touched by her love, grace, and compassion. With her new role, thousands more will be touched by teaching other churches how to do, what she has done.
Some of the programs are:
Thread Shed, ESL Conversation classes, Good Food Box, Small Hands - Great Treasures Playschool, Play Café - Toy Lending Library, Time Out for Moms, Let's Talk, Community Gardens, Community Dinners. Special Events include: Spa Night, Christmas Shop, Clean-Up Day in the Community, Homework Club.
Heather credits the relationship and support from Bethany Chapel and partnerships she has formed with Calgary Housing Company, City of Calgary Neighborhood Services, and West Central Resource Centre. "Without the help of many volunteers from Bethany Chapel who love meeting their neighbours she couldn't run the programs."
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Church in Community Development - Part One
In this 2-day series we will cover an interview I have done with Heather Webber. A community Pastor who has worked in the Calgary, Lincoln Park Community in the last 14 years. Remember, I am no journalist or professional writer, so there could be grammar error!!
I sat down yesterday morning to interview a fantastic lady in our community who has really made a significant difference in our lives. Heather Webber was a Community Pastor with Bethany Chapel from 2001 - May 2015. She has worked in our community for 14 years. Recently she accepted employment with Serving In Mission (SIM), her new role with them is to help other churches engage more into their communities.
I always enjoy meeting with Heather and find fascinating stories of the people who have come and gone in our communities and how they have touched her life. I set out this morning with specific questions in mind and she was quick to answer them.
1. What are a couple of reasons why what you do, doesn't matter at all? Why doesn't it make a difference?
"My work in the community may not make any difference at all as I am only one person. It's up to people to get involved and take an interest in their community I would rather try to make a difference and fail; then to never have tried at all."
2. Tell me an example of what has made a difference?
"I remember one family that I met years ago who was fairly new to Canada. She started to come to our Toy Lending Library and then attended our ESL class and enrolled one of her kids in our play school. She originally thought the church was a recreation centre, because she couldn't read English, she didn’t know that Bethany was a church. When she discovered it was a church she got very excited as she was looking for a church close to where she was living. She has gotten involved with Bethany, and she and her kids have been active in our church which has given her family a place of belonging, which has made a difference in her life."
3. Tell me a time when you thought everything was going to fall apart.
"Every time you try something new you don’t know whether or not it is going to fly even though the people in the community wanted it. I have learned to not stress over new things…”
4. When were you really frustrated doing what you do?
"When you put a lot of work into something and no one shows up. I have learned over the years that it is worthwhile to phone and remind people. Due to busy lives, people get caught up just trying to survive, so when programs don't go as planned, I don't take it personally."
5. What do you keep thinking about, or what stays with you when you get home from work?
"People's stories about their lives. I remember a newcomer to Canada, telling me she just moved into the community and she had gotten a notice to cut her lawn from Calgary Housing. She couldn't afford to pay the fine and she didn’t have a lawn mower so she took her good scissors, and spent 3 hours on her knee, cutting her lawn with them.”
6. What gets you really excited about what you do?
"Seeing change, hearing creative ideas, having meaningful conversations, developing friendships with people from different cultures, meeting fabulous cooks, etc….."
7. What is really hard about what you do?
"To hear people's stories, and hear about their struggles, and know that it's hard and sometimes seems hopeless. You'd love to do more but you know you can't. You realise you can only do so much, that’s hard…"
8. What do you love to see happen in the communities you work with? Where do you think the "magic" is?
"I love to see people working together in their communities to make it better. Meeting different people, learning about their cultures and faith and finding things you have in common is extremely rewarding!"
9. What is one project you were really excited to see come off the ground?
"The Thread Shed. It was an opportunity to get to know people in the community and offer them affordable clothing. Also another project was the licensed community play school located in Bethany Chapel. It gave the opportunity to offer an affordable early childhood education for preschoolers living in the community."
10. What have you learned from working in our community?
I’ve learned what a great community Bethany Chapel is surrounded by, and how fortunate we are as a church to have such good people living in the neighbourhood, How fortunate we are to have such a diverse community with lots of young families. That it's a big world and that getting to know different people from all walks of life you realize you have lots in common. I’ve seen and experienced true hospitality from people who you don’t know well, and realized that God truly is alive and his love abounds for everyone."
I sat down yesterday morning to interview a fantastic lady in our community who has really made a significant difference in our lives. Heather Webber was a Community Pastor with Bethany Chapel from 2001 - May 2015. She has worked in our community for 14 years. Recently she accepted employment with Serving In Mission (SIM), her new role with them is to help other churches engage more into their communities.
I always enjoy meeting with Heather and find fascinating stories of the people who have come and gone in our communities and how they have touched her life. I set out this morning with specific questions in mind and she was quick to answer them.
1. What are a couple of reasons why what you do, doesn't matter at all? Why doesn't it make a difference?
"My work in the community may not make any difference at all as I am only one person. It's up to people to get involved and take an interest in their community I would rather try to make a difference and fail; then to never have tried at all."
2. Tell me an example of what has made a difference?
"I remember one family that I met years ago who was fairly new to Canada. She started to come to our Toy Lending Library and then attended our ESL class and enrolled one of her kids in our play school. She originally thought the church was a recreation centre, because she couldn't read English, she didn’t know that Bethany was a church. When she discovered it was a church she got very excited as she was looking for a church close to where she was living. She has gotten involved with Bethany, and she and her kids have been active in our church which has given her family a place of belonging, which has made a difference in her life."
3. Tell me a time when you thought everything was going to fall apart.
"Every time you try something new you don’t know whether or not it is going to fly even though the people in the community wanted it. I have learned to not stress over new things…”
4. When were you really frustrated doing what you do?
"When you put a lot of work into something and no one shows up. I have learned over the years that it is worthwhile to phone and remind people. Due to busy lives, people get caught up just trying to survive, so when programs don't go as planned, I don't take it personally."
5. What do you keep thinking about, or what stays with you when you get home from work?
"People's stories about their lives. I remember a newcomer to Canada, telling me she just moved into the community and she had gotten a notice to cut her lawn from Calgary Housing. She couldn't afford to pay the fine and she didn’t have a lawn mower so she took her good scissors, and spent 3 hours on her knee, cutting her lawn with them.”
6. What gets you really excited about what you do?
"Seeing change, hearing creative ideas, having meaningful conversations, developing friendships with people from different cultures, meeting fabulous cooks, etc….."
7. What is really hard about what you do?
"To hear people's stories, and hear about their struggles, and know that it's hard and sometimes seems hopeless. You'd love to do more but you know you can't. You realise you can only do so much, that’s hard…"
8. What do you love to see happen in the communities you work with? Where do you think the "magic" is?
"I love to see people working together in their communities to make it better. Meeting different people, learning about their cultures and faith and finding things you have in common is extremely rewarding!"
9. What is one project you were really excited to see come off the ground?
"The Thread Shed. It was an opportunity to get to know people in the community and offer them affordable clothing. Also another project was the licensed community play school located in Bethany Chapel. It gave the opportunity to offer an affordable early childhood education for preschoolers living in the community."
10. What have you learned from working in our community?
I’ve learned what a great community Bethany Chapel is surrounded by, and how fortunate we are as a church to have such good people living in the neighbourhood, How fortunate we are to have such a diverse community with lots of young families. That it's a big world and that getting to know different people from all walks of life you realize you have lots in common. I’ve seen and experienced true hospitality from people who you don’t know well, and realized that God truly is alive and his love abounds for everyone."
Friday, July 10, 2015
Soccer
Summer is always an interesting time in my neighbourhood. I watch kids head to the local park, kick off their shoes, use them as goal posts, and start a friendly soccer game.
Hockey is traditionally our Canadian sport. Last year at Neighbour Day I brought some hockey sticks from the local church and had the road blocked off so that the kids could play a game of street hockey.......the sticks were not touched once!!!
If I had set up soccer nets and had soccer balls, the kids would have been all over that. And thanks to the local community girls they saw that skill, love, and talent for the game in the children and Janae two years ago decided she wanted to run it in the community. This year she decided she wanted to do it again but needed a lot more help. She asked who was interested in helping and committing to it. Janet Mader and Evangeline Hammond said they would help with the little kids. They needed help from Bethany chapel for liability issues and in her words, "Voila, a wonderful soccer club for kids was formed." Janae has a heart to work with kids and didn't work as much at the Children's Hospital so this was a good opportunity for her to use her gift to be with kids.
Hockey is traditionally our Canadian sport. Last year at Neighbour Day I brought some hockey sticks from the local church and had the road blocked off so that the kids could play a game of street hockey.......the sticks were not touched once!!!
If I had set up soccer nets and had soccer balls, the kids would have been all over that. And thanks to the local community girls they saw that skill, love, and talent for the game in the children and Janae two years ago decided she wanted to run it in the community. This year she decided she wanted to do it again but needed a lot more help. She asked who was interested in helping and committing to it. Janet Mader and Evangeline Hammond said they would help with the little kids. They needed help from Bethany chapel for liability issues and in her words, "Voila, a wonderful soccer club for kids was formed." Janae has a heart to work with kids and didn't work as much at the Children's Hospital so this was a good opportunity for her to use her gift to be with kids.
So, they used their free time, gift, skills, and love for children to work with the local kids to offer this free soccer program to the children.
It was great to see the kids come out on the field and take part in developing their soccer skills. Many of the families are from countries where soccer is their countries sport, so they have a love for the game. Janae, Jonny Chin, Evangeline Hammond, Jenna Wood, Janet Mader, and the older community youth kids came out to help out.
Jonny was a great person to have on the team. It's not often you see positive male influences in my neighborhood, so to have him out there, making a difference in the kids lives, was truly commendable.
What was truly inspiring to see was the older youth coming out to take part. It kept them involved in the community, developed leadership skills for them, got to be a positive influence for the younger children, and gave them something to be proud of!!!
Good job guys!! Keep up the awesome community work you do all the time in your community, you are making a difference and are an inspiration to others!!!
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Calgary Police Service
So, I'm hesitant on writing this post. Mostly because I fear the repercussions for commenting on a very big company who could sue or charge me. But I also will be very fair and honest in this blog, will tell the truth as I can remember the incidents, and exercise my right to freedom of speech. And I won't name officer's in here. They are human beings, and like all of us, have their bad days and moments.
In all the reports I am known as a "Chronic Complainer" with the Calgary Police Service. Not someone who struggles with ongoing health issues, but someone who complains a lot, apparently about everything.
When dealing with me there are inappropriate comments sometimes, I over hear things being said like "It's the long weekend and all the nutcases are out."
When discussing which officer gets to take me to the hospital one officer says, "We'll play rock, paper, scissors over it."
When I point blank ask them if society wouldn't be better off without me I get a response of "I'm not sure Amber."
And when I tell an officer that I would never hurt or kill an officer, just bring an imitation of a gun so they would kill me his response is "If you want to kill yourself... go ahead and do it. But don't drag somebody else's life into that mess as well. You would ruin that police officer forever...all for what, your own selfish needs? What did he/she do to deserve that?"
I know that I can be very frustrating at times, but they are trained professionals and should be able to hold their personal comments until after dealing with the situation. Because later in my head, when I am feeling suicidal again, it's all those negative comments I remember to remind me that I'm worthless and don't deserve to live, or be respected, even by the Calgary Police Service.
I've heard recently that Mental Health training is not mandatory within the service. I would hope that one day it will be. I am sure they deal with multiple people on a daily basis with mental health issues.
On my criminal record check all of my mental health issues used to show up on it. All ten pages of, suicide attempts, Mental Health Act. I was forced to show this to a future employer or volunteer agency.
When I was assaulted two years ago and called the police to file a complaint they showed up at my door and wrote it off as me "chronically complaining." They walked away without filing a report.
Even in the jail system they de-humanize you. When you are suicidal they give you a uniform they call "baby dolls" to wear so that you won't hurt yourself with any clothing.
In all fairness I can't look at an officer in District Two anymore. I stalked one of their Sergeant's and I am very ashamed and embarrassed by my behaviour over that. I feel they all hate me and wished me dead in District Two.
They are getting better on how to handle people with mental health issues. They have formed the Police and Crisis Team (PACT), diverting those who have health issues to the appropriate health needs to be met, instead of a jail system that does nobody any good. The Criminal Record check unit has been working with the Canadian Mental Health Association to appropriately handle what shows up on your criminal record check, and they have made changes to that.
And despite those negative comments from police, the majority are pretty good. I commend them for the job they have to do and situations that they deal with on a daily basis. I would never want their job. To be constantly sworn at, spit on, threatened, assaulted. And rarely any credit or respect from the public that they deal with, they do an outstanding job.
And it totally depends on the personality of the officer as well. I am able to work in a very positive, respectful role with my Community Resource Officer. He recognizes the fact that I struggle sometimes and does not judge me for that. And when I am struggling gently guides me back to the appropriate resources in place for me to deal with when I am in crisis. His role is to be a resource to me for positive change in my community. We have developed a great working relationship, and mutual respect for each other.
More changes need to be made though in regards to dealing with mental health issues. From dealing with the general public, to dealing with mental health within their own force. I hope that day will come sooner than later.
In all the reports I am known as a "Chronic Complainer" with the Calgary Police Service. Not someone who struggles with ongoing health issues, but someone who complains a lot, apparently about everything.
When dealing with me there are inappropriate comments sometimes, I over hear things being said like "It's the long weekend and all the nutcases are out."
When discussing which officer gets to take me to the hospital one officer says, "We'll play rock, paper, scissors over it."
When I point blank ask them if society wouldn't be better off without me I get a response of "I'm not sure Amber."
And when I tell an officer that I would never hurt or kill an officer, just bring an imitation of a gun so they would kill me his response is "If you want to kill yourself... go ahead and do it. But don't drag somebody else's life into that mess as well. You would ruin that police officer forever...all for what, your own selfish needs? What did he/she do to deserve that?"
I know that I can be very frustrating at times, but they are trained professionals and should be able to hold their personal comments until after dealing with the situation. Because later in my head, when I am feeling suicidal again, it's all those negative comments I remember to remind me that I'm worthless and don't deserve to live, or be respected, even by the Calgary Police Service.
I've heard recently that Mental Health training is not mandatory within the service. I would hope that one day it will be. I am sure they deal with multiple people on a daily basis with mental health issues.
On my criminal record check all of my mental health issues used to show up on it. All ten pages of, suicide attempts, Mental Health Act. I was forced to show this to a future employer or volunteer agency.
When I was assaulted two years ago and called the police to file a complaint they showed up at my door and wrote it off as me "chronically complaining." They walked away without filing a report.
Even in the jail system they de-humanize you. When you are suicidal they give you a uniform they call "baby dolls" to wear so that you won't hurt yourself with any clothing.
In all fairness I can't look at an officer in District Two anymore. I stalked one of their Sergeant's and I am very ashamed and embarrassed by my behaviour over that. I feel they all hate me and wished me dead in District Two.
They are getting better on how to handle people with mental health issues. They have formed the Police and Crisis Team (PACT), diverting those who have health issues to the appropriate health needs to be met, instead of a jail system that does nobody any good. The Criminal Record check unit has been working with the Canadian Mental Health Association to appropriately handle what shows up on your criminal record check, and they have made changes to that.
And despite those negative comments from police, the majority are pretty good. I commend them for the job they have to do and situations that they deal with on a daily basis. I would never want their job. To be constantly sworn at, spit on, threatened, assaulted. And rarely any credit or respect from the public that they deal with, they do an outstanding job.
And it totally depends on the personality of the officer as well. I am able to work in a very positive, respectful role with my Community Resource Officer. He recognizes the fact that I struggle sometimes and does not judge me for that. And when I am struggling gently guides me back to the appropriate resources in place for me to deal with when I am in crisis. His role is to be a resource to me for positive change in my community. We have developed a great working relationship, and mutual respect for each other.
More changes need to be made though in regards to dealing with mental health issues. From dealing with the general public, to dealing with mental health within their own force. I hope that day will come sooner than later.
Monday, July 6, 2015
Addiction
Today I am feeling grateful and lucky.
I am lucky because when I started to rely on alcohol to relieve me from anxiety and stress, shame and guilt, I was old enough to have seen the destruction that addiction does to families and relationships.
I saw the look of disgust my son gave me when I went to give him a goodnight kiss after starting to drink. "You stink Mom." Was his words as he turned away from me repulsively. From that moment on, I vowed not to drink in front of him again.
I watched a family member almost die on multiple occasions because of his addiction. We came to the point as a family to love him because he was family, and at the same time condoning his behaviour. We came to the point where we knew the police officer would knock on our door one day to tell us he's died of an overdose or been murdered. That's a shitty feeling.
I've met a woman who killed an innocent person while she was drinking and driving. She hasn't touched a drink. I don't know if she's ever forgiven herself for that. I know that I couldn't. But she has stopped drinking, she can deal with all those horrible feelings without touching a drink.
I watched my neighbour drink to the point where her children were embarrassed and ashamed of her. She eventually lost her home and her children. Now she's on the streets.
I watch a current neighbour drink to get through the day. I've watched clients as a Medical Office Assistant lose everything they own, their health, and then.... their lives.
I understand that the people who have mental health issues use it as a way to self medicate.
I also know that addiction can be overcome, and changed, and dealt with. I've seen people do it and I applaud them for the courage and strength it takes to do it. It is hard work, and it is not easy. But I would rather do the hard work and have my family and friends, than keep the same negative coping skills only to end up in an early grave.
I was, and am lucky. My addiction was short lived, I know the longer you stay in it, the tougher it is to get out.
So GET OUT, SOONER is better than later. And one day, I will quit smoking. I started that early, at 15, eventually, this addiction will kill me too. YOU can change, YOU can be the person you always wanted to be, YOU can be the hero that you see and want to be in other people.
So ask for help, go do what you need to do to be who YOU want to be!
YOU CAN MAKE THE CHANGE!!!
I am lucky because when I started to rely on alcohol to relieve me from anxiety and stress, shame and guilt, I was old enough to have seen the destruction that addiction does to families and relationships.
I saw the look of disgust my son gave me when I went to give him a goodnight kiss after starting to drink. "You stink Mom." Was his words as he turned away from me repulsively. From that moment on, I vowed not to drink in front of him again.
I watched a family member almost die on multiple occasions because of his addiction. We came to the point as a family to love him because he was family, and at the same time condoning his behaviour. We came to the point where we knew the police officer would knock on our door one day to tell us he's died of an overdose or been murdered. That's a shitty feeling.
I've met a woman who killed an innocent person while she was drinking and driving. She hasn't touched a drink. I don't know if she's ever forgiven herself for that. I know that I couldn't. But she has stopped drinking, she can deal with all those horrible feelings without touching a drink.
I watched my neighbour drink to the point where her children were embarrassed and ashamed of her. She eventually lost her home and her children. Now she's on the streets.
I watch a current neighbour drink to get through the day. I've watched clients as a Medical Office Assistant lose everything they own, their health, and then.... their lives.
I understand that the people who have mental health issues use it as a way to self medicate.
I also know that addiction can be overcome, and changed, and dealt with. I've seen people do it and I applaud them for the courage and strength it takes to do it. It is hard work, and it is not easy. But I would rather do the hard work and have my family and friends, than keep the same negative coping skills only to end up in an early grave.
I was, and am lucky. My addiction was short lived, I know the longer you stay in it, the tougher it is to get out.
So GET OUT, SOONER is better than later. And one day, I will quit smoking. I started that early, at 15, eventually, this addiction will kill me too. YOU can change, YOU can be the person you always wanted to be, YOU can be the hero that you see and want to be in other people.
So ask for help, go do what you need to do to be who YOU want to be!
YOU CAN MAKE THE CHANGE!!!
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