So:
ICE is the most effective tool for me when I'm in the most extreme point of my crisis and can no longer think clearly.
Calling a distress center or suicide crisis line is NOT helpful for me, for many reasons, the following the most important:
- The distress center has a certain criteria of questions they have to assess your immediate risk of suicide. I am ALWAYS on the list of CALL CPS RIGHT NOW.
- The distress center are strangers. People I do not know. When I am in crisis I NEED to know that my friends are there, that I am not abandoned, and that I am loved no matter what state of mind I am in at the moment.
- I am normally never helped by the distress center. In actual reality, they end up pissing me off more, and I hang up on them angry and frustrated, which of course, leads to them calling the police when it is not needed.
So, friends, here is what is helpful to me after the ICE.
- Ask me if I want to hang out some time and set a date and a time. I am a woman of my word, if I plan to take my life, I will NOT commit to anything.
- Send me a funny GIPHY, so I can laugh. If I am able to send you one back, I'm doing pretty good.
- Ask me what I need. "Do you want me to come over?" "Can I just sit here with you?" Or, TELL me you are coming over. Half the time I won't say, "Yes, please come over." just tell me that you are.
- The BIGGEST one, "I'm here to listen, and I won't leave you."
Perhaps, my friends can also have some input in here. As, they also know how to be successful in engaging with me when I am in this state of mind.
This is me, my safety plan for my friends. It IS different for everyone. So ask your friends this question:
- "What do you need from me, and how can I be most successful to you, when you are in a state of crisis?"
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