Not a Victim Part One

As I entered her house I noticed something different. Toys…scattered amongst the living room floor. And her son George, bouncing on the sofa. I am always awestruck by the absolute lovely atmosphere of her home every time I walk into it. But as I get to know her, I am also very aware that she keep the house very neat, because she loves too. So, I was very happy to see, that there was a small mess! Not a Victim went to school, and then went on to College to take an Early Childhood Education, she did her practicum but when she did her practicum she did not like what was going on. She went on to get her Hairstyling license. She went to go work for a production company full-time and always had the belief that if you, “Work hard and work well it will get you to the top.” She admits that it will, but it won’t keep you there when you work in that type of industry. She went on to work full-time in a management position and was very fortunate to be able to travel across the country in this job. She did trouble shooting for stores that were having trouble and worked with them to figure out why they were not profitable and how to help them succeed. When they managed to do well, she would move on to another store. 

She came to Calgary and got married. Stopped working and had two children. She was blindsided after almost a decade of being married and had to take her children and flee for their own safety. She knew she had to leave 2 years before she did but did not think she could and felt stuck. Six months before she left she definitely knew she had to leave but did not know how. Thankfully, an incident happened where she got lucky. A police officer recognized the signs, gave her resources, met with her, supported her, and together they came up with a strategy. She fled one night and went to a shelter. She had to. For her and her kids’ sake and their peace of mind. 

They stayed in two shelters in two months before they were fortunate enough to get into Calgary Housing. It was easy to make friendly acquaintances, and she had many resources available. I ask her “What made it easy?” “The ladies in the community were friendly, helpful, and curious. They would peek over the fence and say Hello and introduce themselves, they’d chat just like they’d known me forever.” There were also lots of children around she says that her kids could play with. She said that being at a shelter they gave you many resources for you to access when you got into a home. So that you’re not left wondering; “What do I do after being a stay at home mom after 10 years?” She had a game plan and was eager to follow it and get back on track for her and her kiddos. She says she was very fortunate for Calgary’s resources to come back with virtually nothing but the clothes on your back and two years later they are doing very well. Considering where they came from and she is really, really thankful to be here and safe. 

“The biggest thing is waking up in the morning and NOT being afraid and her kids NOT being afraid, that’s a REALLY good thing. I never want to lose that feeling of being grateful for little things because it’s no fun when you live in fear, and it’s even worse when your kids live in fear. I have a lot of reasons to be grateful.” 

The biggest thing I see in her, is that she does not have a name. She is a daughter, mother, aunt, sister, niece, etc... She could be YOURS!
 
In part two I will share with you what made #enoughforall in Calgary for Not a Victim and her kids, now 6 and 8.