University student in Poverty

Today I started my first class of Humanities 101 at St. Mary's University in Calgary.

I would not be able to attend this course if several factors of my life were not at play.

1. I live in poverty.
2. I cannot work full-time currently.
3. I did not hear about this program from a previous student.
4. I was not prepared to go back to school.
5. The course is free, including the textbooks and supplies.

Being a University student is scary. I have never been a great learner, and considered myself to "stupid" in this area. Writing essays scare the shit out of me.

My first readings for class came in yesterday.

1. Chapter 1, The Mindsets. Written by Carol Dweck, in "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success." (2006)
2. "Pedagogy of the Oppressed" by Paulo Freire, published in English in 1970.

The first thing I discovered in "Mindset" by Carol Dweck, is that I have a "fixed" mindset. In her book she explains it as when these people have a "bad" day, the people who have a "fixed" mindset see themselves as failures, rejects, losers, worthless, dumb.

That is me, I have what is called "black and white, all or nothing" thinking.

People who have a "growth" mindset. Have a better coping skill. they think of solutions, only one problem, not all or nothing.

On my reading of the "Pedagogy of the Oppressed" by Paulo Freire, I was intrigued and a little put off. This was a difficult read. I almost began that "all or nothing" thinking. I did not understand the language so therefore; "I must be stupid and will NEVER pass this Humanities 101 course, all the reading will be like this and I'll struggle all through the semester."

However, I was able to use some of the text in this material and apply it to my own life. How I was and had been oppressed. By the government, schools, health care, police, housing, teachers, family, friends, etc... And WHY people choose not to be oppressed anymore and liberate themselves from this.

I am looking forward, too many more readings, learning, teaching, studying, etc, from my new classroom.