Shitty

That's the name of today's blog post. Shitty.

Because that's literally what it is for me in poverty right now.

Once again, I woke up this morning. I did not want to.

Every thought, feeling, being in my body right now wants to not wake up ever again.

Not because I don't love people, or because the world has treated me crappy, but because I'm so very, very tired. I'm not sure I have the strength to fight anymore.

I believe with all of my heart and soul The Enough for All strategy. If I did not I would not have agreed to be an ambassador for this. But how do I, be an effective ambassador for Enough for All, when I struggle hourly, to have enough for me?

Yesterday, I woke. To numbness. Not feeling.i

I have three aunt's who are sick. That do not live in Calgary. One is terminal.

Me, I have $20 in my bank account, and am struggling with health issues.

Preliminary blood work has shown signs of celiac disease. I have suffered for months now of explosive diarrhea. This is my shame. I have accidents. It's a shitty experience, quite literally, that's why the title of this.

So I've been referred to a gastroenterologist, to do a scope. Another wait list. Like the wait list for the chronic pain centre, like the wait list for the psychiatrist.

What the hell do I do when my Aunt dies? I don't have money to wash my clothes.

Christmas is coming, how do I get presents for my son. My precious son, who has worked so hard this year and has become such a fine young man.

So I guess the only real thing I can do for this #enoughforall campaign right now, is to be bluntly honest. Poverty sucks folks. Poverty is literally shitty folks. We have #enoughforall in #yyc, now let's do something about it.

I attended a dance last week, and the person who hosted was someone in a bigger political position than I was, and am. The thing he told me, was that he appreciated my tweets, because it reminds him of how life really is for every day Calgarian's. THIS is why I refuse to be silenced. I never knew he actually listened, or cared. Thank You for caring Joe Ceci. For encouraging me.

Let's quite talking and stand up, speak out, talk hard and steal the air!!

People are dying.