The question of racism

It is with a very sad and heavy heart that I write this blog. My heart breaks, as I watch the world unfold around me. I try to make sense of it, but I can't. I don't understand, and I think that's what frustrates me the most.

I've been asked many questions over the last week. Questions that I don't have answers for. I don't understand all of it, I don't think that I'm supposed to.

Someone asked me if I have experienced racism.

Directly? No.

Indirectly, absolutely!!

I experienced it when I sent my boyfriend who was First Nations to the store when my son was young to get some Vanilla Extract for his birthday cake. He came back with no vanilla extract. Why? Because the sales clerk refused to sell it to him. Why? Because, you know, vanilla extract has alcohol in it.

I was livid. I marched to the store, which will be unnamed, because it's not the only store that does it. I went to the shelf, got the vanilla extract down, walked to the cashier (the one who refused the item to my boyfriend), and she sold it to me. No questions asked.

I then asked to speak to her manager and raised the problem with them.

Most people don't know this, but my son has Metis background. By standing idly by, and seeing un-justices done to those of First Nations people, is saying that I refuse to stand up for my son's heritage, something that he should be proud of.

Do I think it's okay for the federal government to give money to the First Nations reserves, yes!! Sadly, money is the least their doing for them.

Turning a blind eye to over 1200 murdered and missing indigenous women and children, is like saying that I am complicit in their disappearances and murder.

Saying it's "Okay", that police officer's drive indigenous people up, and drive them out to the middle of nowhere, in -40 degree whether, does not sit right with me.

Such a huge representation of indigenous people in the criminal justice system, is wrong.

I should be thankful for my white privilege, instead, I'm ashamed.

Why does a reservation improperly manage their finances? I don't know. Why do our municipalities, provinces, and federal government improperly manage their finances?

My only answer is: Find out why. Go to the reserves, talk to the band councils, and learn the issues.

Why don't the indigenous parents teach their children from right and wrong?

Wait a minute.....

They do.

My parents taught me from right and wrong. I was a rebellious teenager, and I caused shit.

Why are there shootings, and stabbings, and suicides, and drug issues on reservations?

I don't know.

Why are there shooting, and stabbings, and suicides, and drug issues in towns and cities?

These are hard conversations to have with our friends, neighbors, families.

They're also very important conversations to have.

But, I don't have all the answers. So I go to my communities, I ask the hard questions, I listen, learn, and maybe not completely understand, but I empathize.

Because to do otherwise, is being complicit.