2016 In Review

Dear 2016, I want you to know, how much you have sucked for me this year. In point form:

1. My borderline behavior, made me engage in conversations with a professional that was wrong. I was in the wrong to engage in those conversations, and yet, you took a member of the community who was supposed to be there to protect people, and made him a person who cannot be trusted in the helping profession.
2. My borderline behavior, caused me to fear of being abandoned by another member of the community, who is there to protect people. Unfortunately, I engaged in behavior that made him think I was stalking him and his team. 
3. I suffered from physical pain and embarrassing diarrhea. It has not been until recently that I have been diagnosed with Celiac Disease.
4. You made my Aunt sick. And she's dying. You are taking away people I love.
5.  My cat got sick, I couldn't afford to find out what was wrong with him. It was obvious that Buddy was in pain, and because of that, I had to kill my best friend.
6. I suffered many mental health issues, that landed me three hospital trips, two for a lengthy stay.
7. You took away my time to volunteer with my son. At an event that we have enjoyed and taken great pride in volunteering together at for many years. At the same time, we lost a great time to spend together. Free of charge and enjoy a wonderful event.
8. You took away a boy from our community. You took his life. His potential. His skills.
9. You took away my community. My neighbors who I love and I have worked hard to make relations with, to love, help, lift up, and show them that, I care for them.

I am sure there is a lot more that I can add in there. But at the moment, that's all I can think of. On the plus side, these are the things you gave me.

1. The power to learn more about Human Rights in Canada, and how to stand up for my human rights.
2. The opportunity to learn about the injustices that are taking place in Calgary and Alberta, and learning how to take action to change this.
3.  You have given me a great Twitter support group, people who understand me and my diagnosis, and share and learn skills to cope with my diagnosis. You can join us at @OffficialBPDChat
4. You have shown me @SPSMChat this year. The ability to connect with people in suicide prevention in social media. And hopefully, help people who are thinking of ending their lives, by sharing my life experiences.
5. You gave me a bigger community to work with. To support, to love, to share, and to grow with.
6. You gave me the power, to share my story to the world. To stand up as an Ambassador, for Calgary, to end poverty. I hope, that I can be stronger and more powerful towards this important cause in 2017.
7. You've shown me, how much I am loved. By my family, friends, and strangers.
8. How impactful I can be, to someone who listens and cares. Me, who I think is no one, impacted 1 person to share at a National Suicide Convention, four simple words. "Is It Worth It?" Thank You Bart Andrews, for thinking that I, a tiny person from Calgary, can take those four letters, and share it among others. As I have stated to a close friend, Carl Dunn, who has reminded me, that I am worth it. That I can make a difference. That I, as tiny as I am, can make a difference to not just one, but hundreds, to thousands of people.
9. I have been frequently been reminded this year, that I am not having enough fun in my life. So I dedicate 2017, to spend more time, having fun, with my family and friends. I have missed my son so much, and vow to spend more time with him.