Painting Hope Revealing and Celebration

From early morning of the event I was absolutely awestruck.

The Tenant Support Worker and I began to sweep up the parking lot that was graciously donated by my neighbour. It was a perfect location for people to sit, eat, and appreciate the mural. 

3 pm I went and picked up the cake and extra supplies. Came back and saw that the children had picked up brooms and finished sweeping and cleaning the area! I could tell they wanted everything to be perfect for this event as well.

The men came out and helped move tables and chairs and 2 BBQ's to the event. Volunteers came out and started cooking food and setting up the music. The Community Social Worker and Tenant Support Worker helped organize and greet people. People started showing up.

The children started a fantastic flash mob in the parking lot.

Then it was time to honor them. We gathered in front of the mural. I gave my speech thanking them for being the inspiration that I need and want. These children did an amazing job, and I was so proud to see them grow, develop, learn, dream, and hope; I wish to see them continue to do this.

Many children who grow up in poverty, will continue to struggle living in poverty for the rest of their lives. This taught them, I hope; how to help get themselves out of poverty. By continuing to work hard to achieve their dreams and goals. I know how hard it is for them, I watch this on a daily basis, a prime example took place the day of the celebration.

It’s not that the parents don’t care for their children, sometimes, you are so busy trying to survive you just can’t be there for them. For example, we had a lady give birth last week. The day of the event her stitches ripped open from the C-Section and her husband and her had to go see the Doctor. The older sister who took part in the project went with them while the community and I watched their oldest child. 2 other children miss their mom so much, but, she works two jobs just to survive. When she gets home, there is only time for housework, homework, laundry, and cooking. There is very little, if any, time for play.

So this was the perfect opportunity for them to gather as a family and celebrate their success, have fun, be children, laugh, play and be proud of their work.

After I spoke Julie Black with the Calgary Foundation, Deputy Mayor Pincott and MLA Greg Clark came up to say a few words. Then Rho and Maryam cut the ribbon!!!

Deputy Mayor Pincott and Cst. Gallant with Calgary Police Service came up to deliver certificates signed by the Deputy Mayor, and Cst. Gallant handed out gift backs for the kids who painted and took part in project. I hope my community and kids are just as proud of themselves, as I and the broader community are of them. After all, “We are all in this Together.”

Amber Cannon.

Burn out!

So I get why people don't get involved. Especially when you live in low-cost housing. Because many people have so many diverse needs, and you become burnt out quickly.

But that does not mean you should NOT get involved, rather, it means you NEED to have support in place to support YOU too!!!

This last couple of weeks have been an emotional roller coaster.

First being cut off AB Works and having to worry about paying my bills. The Painting Hope project, working, advocating in front of City Hall. My neighbor having a baby and having to go to hospital, looking after neighbors kids.

I spent way too much time, energy, and effort looking after them, I forgot about my own needs.

I have stopped eating. I have done more damage to my knee, I am not sleeping. I have forgotten to care for myself. I was starting to have paranoid thoughts, and that people were abandoning me.

My DBT skills went completely out of my mind, and I cut myself. It has been 21 months since I've done that.

So come Friday, I am stepping away. I need to look after myself for a while. As someone I respect recently told me, I can't take care of others if I don't look after my own needs first!

It doesn't mean that I don't care. It just means that I care so much, that I need to renew myself to be able to do this again. Stronger, and with more compassion!

Alberta Works

So earlier this year I was left unable to work full-time because of pain from a broken knee cap last year. I had to go to Alberta Works and apply for financial assistance. I dealt with the shame and embarrassment of that at the time.

Then, I was financed. I did everything I was supposed to. Handed in all of the documents that they asked of me. Filed my reporting cards on time.

So needless to say I was shocked and stunned when I still had not received any money from them at the end of August. I called on September 1 to find out why my check had not been processed. My worker got back to me later that afternoon and told me that my file had been closed. I had to go and re-apply.

So yesterday I waited once again in an Alberta Works line up. I got there at 7:30. The doors open at 8:15. There were 14 people ahead of me.

I was turned away, told to come back and stand in line yet again, on another day. I asked why I was cut off to begin with, as I did everything that was asked of me. They told me they did not know, could not explain why. So, I went home and called my work. I had to work today. My boss graciously allowed me to switch my schedule from Thursday to Friday so that I could come back.

I was up at 6 this morning. Was at the Alberta Works office at 7 am. My heart dropped when I pulled into the parking lot, (I borrowed my parents van to get there and spent the night at my parents house.) There were 12 people ahead of me! I was starting to feel hopeless.

I stood there freezing and shivering for 75 minutes until the door opened. We were there before the security officer even arrived on site. When I got to the desk the lady told me that they were out of appointments for that day, I would yet again, have to come back another day and stand in line. One of the guys who had been in the line up yesterday was 2nd in line today. I asked him what time he was there at. He arrived at 5 am.

I went into an office and spoke to a lady. I explained that I had to re-arrange my work schedule to make it there today. She said that exceptions can be made on some circumstances and she could see what she could do to book me an appointment.

She came back and said that I could make an appointment in 1 weeks time, or I could come yet once again and stand in an early line up. She warned me that all of the locations are very busy. The Oil & Gas layoffs have not helped, and they are all overloaded. So I booked the appointment, on a day that I am scheduled to work, hoping that my boss will be willing to work with me on this as I try to manage solutions to fix this.

I finally had an ultrasound done of my veins yesterday. The recommendation was surgery, I have a blood clot by my knee that's causing all the pain. So I am being referred to a surgeon. Another long wait list. At least now we know what the problem is.

I cannot wait until I can go back to work full-time.