Painting Hope Engagement 2

This second engagement was a little more difficult. And didn't go quite as planned, but fun and exciting none-the-less. When working in community, nothing ever does go "as planned", and adjustments have to be made as you go along!

Kids slowly started showing up...And the artist was late....but we started with sidewalk chalk, and moved onto priming the wood.

The CNS worker and Tenant support worker came to get to know the children, and shortly after
Cst. Gallant and Simon the Safety Bear with the Calgary Police Service showed up. It's a good thing Simon had a translator. And it wasn't long before they stole the show away from the artist.

Part of the project was to educate the youth on graffiti, and why we don't do that and respect people's property.

The pictures I have do not do justice to the event. There were a 10-15 more kids there but were not included in the pictures, for multiple reasons. Some are language barriers and they didn't understand the media permission form, safety concerns, past history of domestic violence, or just a cultural reason, etc....

One little girl wanted to be a part of the picture but mom was away at work at the time of the engagement. She was unable to get a media permission slip signed as the only person who was home was her teenage brother watching her, not a guardian, and Dad was not in the picture anymore.

So we had her be a part of the picture, but stood to the side of the group so that I could cut and paste her out when I put it on social media. She will get a printed picture of the original later.

Our welcome rock was touched up with paint, a warm image into our community.

Our last engagement will be on Saturday August 29th, when we apply the colors.

Grand Opening will happen in September. I am so proud of these children and how they worked together as a group, as a community, and somehow, as a family, to make their homes a better place to live.

T.I.P.

One very helpful tip when learning how to manage extreme emotions was T.I.P. I use this when I get to the point of so much emotion that I cannot think clearly or tap into the Crisis Intervention skills, as, I am not thinking clearly at this point and I am seeking out a knife or something to cut myself with.

TIP is an acronym that stands for:

Tip the temperature of your face with ice.
Intensely exercise.
Pace your breathing by slowing it down OR:
Progressive muscle relaxation.

But when I am in an extremely emotional state of mind I essentially stop thinking rationally.

 

The ice is the most effective tool for me. In order to get myself to a place of being capable of processing information, I must find a way to essentially "reset" my nervous system. Fortunately, all mammals have something called the "mammalian diving reflex" that forces the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) to kick in, which functions to relax and calm us down.

 

Reflex is activated by icy cold water (not freezing) on the face. In particular, the icy cold water must hit the parts of the face just below the eyes and above the cheekbones for the dive reflex to be activated.

 

Suggest:

- Fill a bowl of icy cold water

- bend/lean over

- hold your breath

- put face in icy cold water for 30 seconds

- make sure the area underneath eyes/above cheekbones (most sensitive part of the face feels the icy water.

Or any icy cold gel mask over/around the eye area.

 

Cautions of using this technique:

 

1. Activating the dive reflex slows the heart rate, so anyone with heart problems or a slow heartbeat should avoid this strategy.

2. Those with eating disorders should avoid activating the dive reflex, as this is dangerous for the heart.

Benefits of using:

Provides immediate relief and is intended to get you into a functional state of mind where you are capable of using problem-solving skills to solve the intense problem at hand.

 

Most people use Intense exercise to relieve stress, but unfortunately this doesn't help me. I am a smoker and have health issues that prevent me from doing this. So I rely mostly on the Temperature (ice). I don't do it the way the tell me to use it either.

 

It takes me too long to wait for the sink to fill up with cold water, I want immediate relief from the distress I feel, so I grab an ice pack from the freezer and put it under my eyes, behind my back by my neck, or on my wrists. This is what's effective for me.

 

It usually prevents me from doing any harm to myself. I can return to a state of mind where I can use other "skills" or "tools" that I've been taught, and I can move forward in a more "normal" fashion.

 

 

 

 

Painting Hope in Community

One of the things that I noticed most at the Painting Hope project was the incredible connection the families had with each other.

I think the families who struggle financially are a lot more connected than families who might not. These families have that sense of loyalty, they look out for each other, they take care of one another.

There is also that stress. Rarely can families just relax and have fun together. Parents are so busy worrying about how to make ends meet and unfortunately, sometimes the kids take the heat for it.

I remember one time with my own child, the 1 time that I bought a treat for him and I to share, (which was rare). I came home from work, and found that my teenage son had eaten it all. I was SO looking forward to having it that night after a long day at work. I flipped out on him, yelled at him.

I felt so guilty and shameful after that. My son was hungry, and he saw nothing wrong with eating food when he was hungry. The thought never occurred to him to take something else. Just the treat.

Last night I watched the kids gather at the ice cream truck. Looking at the ice cream treats and chatting with the driver, but not buying anything because there was no money for it. As soon as the ice cream man left, my neighbour, went inside and grabbed freezies to hand out to the kids. A nice treat to have at an affordable price. The kids SO appreciated it.

Ricole the artist said "More than anything at the engagement I felt this deep sense of family and united-ness that I feel would be amazing to demonstrate. The amazing and dynamic variety of folk in the community can be shown through a vast amount of imagery all together and intertwined with one another."

One little girl has down syndrome. We were not sure how to engage her art into the project. So her mom had the idea of tracing her hands and putting a heart between them. It turned out wonderfully!

So to have an event that benefits the community, gives the families a chance to work on a project together, brings connection, pride, and belonging to them, is something that truly is....priceless.

So really at the end of the day, we have a roof over our heads, some food in our stomachs, but the best part, we have a strong bond with our families and community that is hard to break.

This couldn't have been done without the support of all the community partners. Calgary Foundation for the Grant, Knox Presbyterian Church for being a fiscal agent and use of the church, and our landlord.

And the people who supported us in bringing the mural in. Cst. Gallant with the Calgary Police Service, our landlord, Councillor Brian Pincott, Bethany Chapel, City of Calgary Community and Neighborhood social worker, and the tenants.

Next Engagement is August 25th. We will begin the painting portion of the project after getting approval of design the kids came up with. We will also have Cst. Gallant come in for education and safety portion. He has been a fantastic officer to work in our diverse community, and has really pulled through, above and beyond, the call of duty, with his role.

The saying the artist came up with really says it all. "We are all in this together." I don't believe this is just for these families, or people. But ALL people in this world.

Borderline Personality Disorder

Amidst all of the wonderful things that are going on in my life, are still the ruminating thoughts, the urge to self-harm, and trying to manage life with Borderline Personality Disorder. Although I don't qualify for the diagnosis anymore, I still have a few of the "symptoms" that are included in it.

In the Diagnostic and Statistic Manual, Fourth Edition, to be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, a person must show a pattern of behavior that includes at least 5 of the following:

• Extreme reactions to abandonment, whether real or perceived
• A pattern of intense and stormy relationships, often going from extreme (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)
• Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self, which can result in sudden changes in feelings, opinions, values, or plans and goals for the future
• Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
• Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting
• Intense and highly changing moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days
• Chronic feelings of emptiness
• Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger
• Having stress-related paranoid thoughts or severe dissociative symptoms.

Seemingly routine events may trigger symptoms. For example, people with BPD may feel angry and distressed over minor separations—such as vacations, business trips, or sudden changes of plans—from people to whom they feel close. They have a stronger reaction to words with negative meanings than people who do not have the disorder.

So recent events have triggered those feelings of abandonment, those intense relationships, Chronic feelings of emptiness.

I am using the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills that have been taught to me through Alberta Health Services. I still have those self-destructive thoughts, but through self-soothing, distress tolerance, and Mindfulness I have been able to not act out on those thoughts.

Later, with more time; I will touch more on those skills. Today, I just needed to get this out. To explain myself to others who don't understand why I am feeling the way I do, or are wondering why I have gone to this place once again, or why I am reacting the way I am.

So tonight, I will color and have a bath.

Painting Hope

Last year there were graffiti concerns in our neighborhood. It was not art, mostly tags.

We live by Mount Royal University, and there is a lot of foot traffic in our neighborhood. No one was caught so we can't say it came from the kids. We don't have those facts so I can't "assume".

So we held a meeting. And through working together we had some of the concerns resolved. Other things take time and research, and money.

The community partners were Bethany Chapel, Calgary Police Service, our City Councillor Brian Pincott, Calgary Neighborhood Social Worker, and our Landlord. The residents brought their concerns, and as a group we discussed the issues and how to solve them.

The tagging was one of the issues, the solution, create a mural!

Calgary Foundation approved a Grant, we got an artist, Ricole Fedyna to come in and work with the kids to design it. Make it their own. Create a beautiful design and show the cultural diversity in our community.

Today I learned that our families come from places like Nepal, Africa, Ireland, Germany, Scotland, Phillipines, Afghanistan, etc....

We don't see their skin color, or their religion, all we see is the strength and beauty in each and every one of them.

One boy started using hashtags. Like #Justbehappy, #Lovebeingcanadian, and #Stopracism. The last one broke my heart. He also wrote Nelson Mandela's name and year of birth and death.

Worry and concern filled my mind and I sat down to chat with him. Asked him what racism meant, he understood full well. I asked him if that happened in the neighborhood, he said No. But in school and other places he sees and feels it. He is a CHILD!! He should not know what the word "racism" means!

We started the design, next engagement will include education by the Calgary Police Service.

The greatest to see, was the whole family involved. Supporting their kids in the project. The adults are so busy trying to survive for their families, it's rare they get to have fun together in a warm, welcoming environment that Knox Presbyterian was able to provide for us.

I love my community. If I could have chosen where I was to live, I couldn't have chosen a better home!